My epiphany

I know I write on here more than Scott and it's supposed to be a blog for the both of us. I apologize to those who were looking forward to hearing from him next.

So I realized something last night. It has a lot to do with the story of the two people with the weaknesses in the metaphor of the beam and the moat. I can just imagine as the one person tries to poke out the beam in his brothers eye but doesn't make it any better because of the moat in his own. I'm sure the beam would just get more stuck. We all have a beam or moat in our eye, some we can't see and some we can. I finally notice one that has been plaguing me for quite some time.

I do not make my own decisions. I always have had some sort of influence (I'm not discussing spiritual influences here) on every decision I make. Even the good decisions thatI have made in life that had amazing outcomes had some influencing person involved in the decision. I tried to think of something I have decided on my own, even when I shovel the walks, it is not a decision I am making on my own but because of work or something else. There is only one decision I ever made on my own, without using the influences of those around me, although I still looked at those influences; that was marrying Scott. (Yes, he had to make the decision too but mine was made by myself.)

During my schooling and learning about relationships, I heard one person say that in a relationship there are three types of decisions; decisions you make individually and do not need to tell the other person, there are decisions you make that you need to run by the other person, and there are decisions you make together.

Now that I know I do not make decisions on my own, I wish it was like working on cleaning something. "Ok, I'm not cleaning the counters and I should be. I will start." Easy, peasy! This isn't so simple. After a life of not making decisions, it is hard to start doing it on my own but I have decided that I can do this! (There a decision on my own!) I know my likes and dislikes and I know that some decisions we make are not what we like but what we have to do.

So my early new years resolution is to start making my own decisions, good or bad!

Here is what is happening in our lives lately:

Scott is at his second last test as I write this and has been studying hard and really putting in such a great effort. I know he'll do a great job! I hate tests and don't really understand the point of them. If a teacher would take the time to see if each student has learned what they were supposed to, we wouldn't need testing. And it only works for such a small percentage of people!

I did operation red nose on Saturday and it took me a day or two to recoup. But it was fun and I am glad that Scott didn't have to go cause it would have not helped with testing at all.

I cleaned out the spare room that had been packed with stuff from the Evan's house. I was worried that it would be a major undertaking but really didn't take very long and now there are only three boxes for Scott and I to go through at a later time! It looks really good and I get so pleased with myself every time I look at it. I should have taken before and after pictures but I don't think anyone else would love it to the extent that I do! :)

I love Christmas and have been reading a few of my Christmas books and talks by the apostles and it has just gotten me into the Christmas spirit so much!

I am so excited for Christmas. Scott and I have been ready for Christmas for a while but have gifts to wrap eventually. I just can't wait to see family this Christmas!!! Especially those we haven't seen in a long time, some we haven't seen in over a year! I love you all and hope you are enjoying your Christmas season!!

Michelle