Confession

I have a confession to make...

I have been a slacker with my scripture reading.  I pull them out every once in a while and read a verse or two and even sometimes really get into it... And then life happens... my baby needs me, life gets too fast paced, I get lazy, I am on the computer pinning the next thing that I HAVE to do or watching some youtube clip that will "change my life" and I forget, and stop and don't start again...

This hardest part in the starting again are remebering every talk that says that we need to study our scriptures and reading them is not enough.  So, I don't because I don't have the time today to study them and I don't know what topic to study and if I started studying and life crept up, then where would I be... I also find that I will start studying a topic and only go to one scripture or two because I am looking up so many conference talks and writing down my thoughts, etc.  And then I feel bad because it isn't scripture study.

Well, for those of you who have heard Scott talk in church, he has always said that he gets his inspiration in the shower... Mine comes in the car on the drive to and from work. 

This morning on my drive to work, I was talking/praying to the Lord and this topic came up and I realized (was prompted) that these thoughts are from Satan, getting me to stop reading the scriptures.  Maybe I don't feel that I have a ton of time but I have the same amount of time as every other person in this world, those with eight kids or who work 80+ hours a week and we all decide where our time is going to go.  I have some time.  Maybe it is not enough to study but if I don't start, I'll never do anything AND maybe I don't need to study, maybe the first step is to read.  

I got in the habit of reading scriptures with Magdalen.  We do it every night before bed. And they may be teh children's version and it may only be one picture some nights, but it is something and that is what I've told myself for almost 18 months now. If I can do it for her, I should be able to do it for me.  My relationship with my Savior is just as important as hers and I need to do my personal scripture study/reading for her and those around me as well as for myself.

I was reminded today that anything is better than nothing.  A verse, a talk, a scripture here or there is better than unintentionally hiding my scriptures under a stack of papers on the bedside table, with the plan to study "when I have the time".  I know things will just get busier for a while, while we are raising children/our child.  And if I am not getting my daily scripture time in, then it is the same as not getting any food- something is got to be better than nothing...

So, that is the goal this month and probably into next.  

(I decided for my New Years Resolution to have a goal a month this year and it has gone well and gone poorly but it has been better thus-far than one goal for the entire 12 months. On a side tangent, I slowly stopped biting the fingernails on one hand and two fingers on the other hand and then started biting them all again.  Arggg. I'll have to start over on that goal.)

Putting it here will help me remember that I have someone/something to report back to for my work on the goal.  

Wish me luck!